Passion and Purity

Title: Passion and Purity
Author: Elisabeth Elliot
Major Themes: Purity, Dating, Relationships, Courtship, Love Stories
Synopsis: Using her own life as an example, Elisabeth Elliot encourages singles to lay their romantic relationships at Jesus’ feet and allow Him to have lordship in their lives.

Just over a year ago, I had the privilege of reading Devotedly by Valerie Elliot Shepard, a book about Jim and Elisabeth Elliot’s courtship years and eventual marriage. After reading that, I was curious to read the story from Elisabeth’s perspective, and picked up Passion and Purity.

I’ve read several courtship-type books over the years, and my parents have always encouraged my siblings and me toward courtship if and when the situation arises. They had a happy, hands-off courtship, and that’s what they desire for us as well. I have been in two courtships/relationships now, neither of which ended in marriage (but not because the path we chose to follow was wrong; there were other issues at play). I don’t know where I personally stand on everything at this point, although I still believe in courtship and holy living. That’s not the scope or purpose of this review, but I thought it might be helpful to know a bit about where I’m coming from here.

Passion and Purity is not, strictly, a book about courtship. It does start with an introduction by Joshua Harris, famous (or infamous?) for I Kissed Dating Goodbye (which I have not read, and due to things I’ve heard about it, I don’t know if I ever will), but in my opinion, this book is more about what is beneficial when we’re in a romantic relationship, and especially how we should honor the Lord in that relationship. Jim and Elisabeth’s story spanned many years in development, and one thing they had to deal with on an increasingly frequent basis as they grew closer together prior to engagement and marriage was what to do with the passion they felt for each other. I believe that is something a lot of young couples have run up against throughout the centuries, and judging from the questions and comments Mrs. Elliot quotes from her own readers in this book, she’s come across a lot of them, too. This book was written to answer those many questions, and to try to redirect readers away from looking at their problems to looking to the Lord Jesus for help.

This book isn’t so much an instruction manual as it is a story—Jim and Elisabeth’s love story—and through the lens of telling their story, Mrs. Elliot was able to weave a lot of sound, Biblical advice, and several “don’t do it the way we did it” warnings. If you just want their story without the advice, this isn’t the book for that—Devotedly covers it more thoroughly. But if you are wanting a Biblical-based perspective of what romantic relationships should look like—not so much dos and don’ts as “Hey, what does the Scripture say about this? What makes sense in light of Scripture?”—this could be an excellent choice.

One thing to be aware of: Elisabeth doesn’t beat around the bush when it comes to talking about s*x or sexual sin—she condemns sin for what it is, and doesn’t try to screen her meaning behind other words. I refer to this later in the warnings, but also mention it here, because if discussions of that nature bother you, this might not be a good book choice for you. Even though I personally am somewhat squeamish about talking about such subjects, I believe it is vitally important to at least have some sort of discussion around such things, especially considering the highly sexualized culture we live in, and the age group this book is aimed towards (late teens up through adults).

After some of my own experiences, what Mrs. Elliot said in Passion and Purity made a lot of sense to me, and I came away feeling encouraged. It is possible to live a victorious Christian life, even when it is difficult to do so—the Bible says so, and Jim and Elisabeth’s story proved that. I would recommend this book to any young adult who would like to get married one day (or is currently in a relationship) and desires to learn from the Christian saints who have gone before them. Even though this book was originally published in 1989, I believe it still has a lot of relevance to young people my age today. It’s an excellent book, one that I believe applies equally to both men and women in their walks with the Lord.

WARNING: See the second-last paragraph. The preface has the phrase “go to bed with somebody, regardless of s*x.” S*x or the marriage bed is mentioned occasionally, especially as Jim and Elisabeth’s relationship continued to grow. They did not have s*x before marriage, but Elisabeth didn’t disguise the fact that they were tempted to at times—and used that as an example of warning for others. Near the end of the book (sorry, I forgot to take a note—I listened to the audiobook), there is a mention or two of how they physically desired each other, and if I remember right, there is at least one quotation from one of Jim’s letters about specific aspects of Elisabeth’s body that he admired. Heck is used twice, in ch. 21 and 22.

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Related posts:

Devotedly Windows to Our World Pamela’s Prayer (1998) The Courtship of Sarah McLean