Title: Counting the Cost
Author: Jill Duggar with Derick Dillard and Craig Borlase
Major Themes: Memoirs, Family
Synopsis: The story of Jill Duggar’s life growing up and into her early married years, told with honesty, courage, and restraint.
Like many other people around the world, I’ve had moments of curiosity about the Duggar family over the years. I remember watching one or two episodes of the TV show, but for the most part, I never followed them closely. I remember hearing about some of the more major events in their lives as they happened, but since I hadn’t spent a lot of time finding out what I could about them, it didn’t affect me much. In more recent years, though, as the children have grown older, I have been intrigued enough to want to read their stories—including Jill Duggar’s recent book, Counting the Cost.
Publisher’s description:
For the first time, discover the unedited truth about the Duggars, the traditional Christian family that captivated the nation on TLC’s hit show 19 Kids and Counting. Jill Duggar and her husband Derick are finally ready to share their story, revealing the secrets, manipulation, and intimidation behind the show that remained hidden from their fans.
Jill and Derick knew a normal life wasn’t possible for them. As a star on the popular TLC reality show 19 Kids and Counting, Jill grew up in front of viewers who were fascinated by her family’s way of life. She was the responsible, second daughter of Jim Bob and Michelle’s nineteen kids; always with a baby on her hip and happy to wear the modest ankle-length dresses with throat-high necklines. She didn’t protest the strict model of patriarchy that her family followed, which declares that men are superior, that women are expected to be wives and mothers and are discouraged from attaining a higher education, and that parental authority over their children continues well into adulthood, even once they are married.
But as Jill got older, married Derick, and they embarked on their own lives, the red flags became too obvious to ignore.
For as long as they could, Jill and Derick tried to be obedient family members—they weren’t willing to rock the boat. But now they’re raising a family of their own, and they’re done with the secrets. Thanks to time, tears, therapy, and blessings from God, they have the strength to share their journey. Theirs is a remarkable story of the power of the truth and is a moving example of how to find healing through honesty.
My thoughts:
Jill tells her story with depth and feeling, but doesn’t over-dramatize her story or intentionally vilify people from her past. I was impressed by the amount of restraint she showed in Counting the Cost—in some cases, I imagine it would have been easy to have a vitriolic attitude about different people, but instead, she states the facts and leaves things at that. This isn’t a tell-all story, but Jill is honest about her experiences and gives some details where necessary.
I never paused to consider what it might be like to be someone who takes part in reality TV, and the way she described her experiences made me thankful that I have been able to live my life out of the limelight. While the family’s TV show is a big part of her story, she also goes into some detail about how she and her siblings were raised under Bill Gothard’s teachings, and how she slowly broke free from that after her marriage. She also shares about what happened with her brother Josh and her reaction to his eventual imprisonment.
This book is mostly about the facts of Jill’s life. Although her faith journey is a natural part of the story, she doesn’t focus on that. I found the book to be an intriguing glimpse into the “story behind the story”, and I also found myself relating to Jill’s growth and decisions in a way I didn’t expect. Though our stories are quite different, both of us come from works-oriented faith backgrounds, and I was encouraged to see her approach toward figuring out what’s really important and what can be left up to personal conscience.
Counting the Cost was a gripping book on many levels, and I’m grateful to have had the chance to read it. It gave me more empathy toward the Duggar family as a whole, and made me thankful for the life I’ve been given. If you’re intrigued about Jill’s story—or how IBLP/ATI teachings affect people—I’d highly recommend you pick up this book. I’m also looking forward to reading Jill’s sister’s book Becoming Free Indeed at some stage; Mom tells me that one is more focused on Jinger Vuolo’s faith journey, and I feel like that might complement this book well.
WARNING: Around ch. 6, Derick and Jill hear that their former security guard was murdered (I believe this chapter also mentions a story of a girl’s boyfriend being kidnapped and presumably murdered). In ch. 7, there is a description of one of Jill’s labors, where she suffered from a ruptured uterus (there is one other instance, earlier, where she briefly describes giving birth to her first child—neither of these was graphic enough to be a problem for my teenage brothers). A few times, Jill briefly refers to sexual abuse from her past (not described), and near the end of the book, there are mentions of Josh Duggar’s involvement in child pornography and his imprisonment.
Age levels:
Reading Independently—Ages 15 and Above, Adults
Links to buy this book:
Amazon: Paperback | Kindle | Hardcover | Audible Audiobook (unabridged) | Audio CD (unabridged)
AbeBooks: View Choices on AbeBooks.com
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